Troubleshooting to Take Off

Even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it, I am technically here for my Master's practicum. Throughout the entire process of searching for a practicum we were all told to not expect anything, that some practicums turn out badly, etc, etc. So while I was open-minded, I, of course, did have some expectations. Turns out, working abroad here is not meeting a single one of them. Lets take it from the top.

Disclaimer: Everything I am about to say, even if negative, is not a reflection on the organization, the people, the country, etc. it is merely the experience that I am having. Other people are having wonderful times...

The associated study: I approached the study team in September of 2008 to work on this project...and after 8 months of applying for funding, talking the project over with the staff, meeting with people at Hopkins about the project, etc. etc. I had some money and a confirmation from the investigator team that this would be a good experience for me and that there was lots to work on regarding the project because it was new.

The project was supposed to officially start in May, then June. I was asked to come at the beginning of July, but due to commitments in Baltimore, I opted to go in August. Although I did not have IRB approval before I left Baltimore, I was told right before I left that there would be some kinks to work out on the surveillance system and I would be helping with some project management duties. When I got to BG, the project still hadn't started and after being told oh, 4 days, oh 3 more days, oh 2 days...I got frustrated and did some travelling - Sylhet, Nepal, a visit to the fieldsite, etc.

During this time, there wasn't much for me to work on. I had helped with the surveys prior and although I went to the office every day asking to help, I was told I couldn't help with anything.

This taught me three things: 1. Make sure that before you leave, you know exactly what the stipulations of your job will be, when it will start, and what the responsibilities of the host organization will be if that doesn't work out (e.g. will they find other work for you?). 2. Be as candid (but polite!) as possible when discussing problematic issues and what can be done about them so that everyone involved is happy. 3. Don't rely on anyone but yourself.

The main reason I was so frustrated with the project is that every three days, the start date would get pushed back...for two months. And at first, I thought it was actually every three days, but apparently that had been happening since May and I just didn't know. Maybe naively, I thought it would really be in three days and so put off making any plans - e.g. getting a Bengali tutor, finding another project, finding a gym...If I had been more up front with how frustrated I was earlier, they could have been more upfront with me about how little they knew about when they were going to be ready to start - they honestly didn't know because it depended on the construction of their office (something that wasn't necessarily conveyed to me as such). More of my frustration wasn't that I wasn't doing anything, it was that I didn't know when I would be doing something - I was unprepared for all the waiting...And waiting...I didn't have a back-up project, I had wrapped up all my work in Baltimore, my med school apps were in and being processed, etc. etc. And there is only so much your adviser's can do from other countries. If I had known of the delays, even before I left, I could have opted to stay in India and travel or spend time with family and they could have emailed me when they knew a particular day and I would have flown in the next day. Granted, I think the project team was under the naive understanding I was - that it would actually start in three days (I'm not sure how much I believe this, but I think they had convinced themselves of it). Eventually I tried to find other projects, lots of bureaucracy is involved with everything and it didn't work out at the time... All these experiences I can use in the future

Eventually the project started and I would try to help, but again, was told there was nothing I could actively do. Although I was disappointed (this isn't what I had been told prior to coming), I still did learn a lot from just observing and asking questions (e.g. how project's are run, field visits, the fact that you have to check up on everyone about everything, troubleshooting). I still do learn a lot...

My personal project: the first fieldsite visit, I chose an interviewer, who although did not have experience in this type of work, spoke three of the tribal languages, very good Bangla, and moderate English (she had spent some time in Australia). We discussed the stipulations of her job and what she would do and etc. etc. And then she came to Dhaka to get trained (in Bangla just to make sure there were no communication issues). While I thought that would be enough - my training, the Bangla training, some practicing - it, unsurprisingly, wasn't. Although that is all the training we received at Hopkins, I couldn't really translate it to the here. I spent an extra three weeks practicing 7 hours a day with my interviewer on how to probe and elicit detailed answers to posed questions. By the end of it, she had it (!) - at least while she was talking to me. And during that time we also got our ethics approval to start (another side point: know when the holidays in your country are - the local approval was delayed by about three weeks because of Eid and then Durga Puja - timing I was again uninform

Over the course of the past month and a half and interviewing, I have learned the benefits and challenges of who you choose as an interviewer, which is really beneficial for future work and the development of future protocols and any future job I get - all for the future. Main challenges I've had: language barriers, ethnic associations, and training. I appreciate ethnographic/anthropologic/public health research so much more in these respects. I have also learned the differences (implicit responsibilities and expectations) between working in the West and working here. That has been another challenge all in itself - showing up to work on time, timeliness of turnaround on materials, how many hours are in a work day, bureaucracy, etc.

The latter stuff I was not prepared for. And it has been the biggest challenges for me. I am a 23 year-old women in a Muslim country where everyone is older than me. Although I do get added (?) respect for being from Hopkins and from America, ethnically I blend in quite well and so the expectations of who I should be are very different - basically, I shouldn't act like a white Western person, even though I am. Having to motivate workers is hard for me since I am so personally motivated - how do you evoke that passion and desire in others? Having to set rules and boundaries to those older than me is difficult and upsetting - again, that goes with implicit expecations in the West. Having to "reprimand" people when they are doing things inappropriately is even more difficult - I've never really been reprimanded by a boss, so I also don't know how to feel about it and the best way to go about it. I have definitely made mistakes and I have definitely learned from them, but it's not something I ever thought I would be exposed to and something I was completely unprepared for. I suppose a learning experience for everyone involved.

There have of course been some other bureaucratic issues and mistakes and disappointments and cries and yells, but nothing that is probably appropriate for a public blog.

Other projects: Eventually I did get some other projects through some convoluted ways and I will detail them in later posts...

Next time: the results of my interviews...thus far